You know it too: there are things a woman does in bed that really get on your nerves. For example, if she always disappears into the bathroom just before the real thing starts, if she consistently turns off the light during sex, or if she lets herself be asked to change positions every time instead of taking the initiative herself. Maybe at first you comment with something like "Oh no!! Again?", but eventually you grudgingly accept her habits, worried that criticism will make her less likely to jump into the sack with you. But you are not alone with the compromises. Women are also silent about some of the things that men do wrong in bed. Instead of opening her mouth, she endures or refuses sex. We tell you with which offenses you spoil her mood in bed:
Sex offense #1: He immediately reaches into the intimate area
To get their sweetheart hot, many men unconsciously choose the wrong strategy. They grab her hotspots without a detour: Rubbing her crotch (over her pants) or the unmediated kiss on her breasts are just two examples. Even if you find it hot when the lady of your heart lays her hands on your best piece, you won't excite a woman that way. Many women find this approach clumsy and disrespectful. You arouse her by touching and kissing secondary erogenous zones like neck or
Sex turn-off #2: He commands like a bootcamp instructor
"Spread your legs", "Take him in your hand" – you should refrain from using the command tone. He is not, as often mistakenly assumed, a dirty talk kind of guy. Women don't need to be told what to do in bed – this includes unattractive maneuvers like pushing or shoving. A good lover manages to guide a woman in the desired direction without words and derogatory gestures.
Sex mistake #3: He keeps touching no-go areas
If you've been dating your sweetheart for a while, you know the parts of her body that she doesn't like very much herself. She will have sung you a song about it several times already. Even if you haven't been sharing a bed for long, you can easily tell which problem areas she's trying to hide. She covers them with her arms or leads her hand away from these places for sure. You should respect their shame, even if you find their no-go areas beautiful. If you constantly grab the places she is ashamed of, you will spoil her pleasure.
Sex offense #4: He inspects her vagina
The vagina is anatomically so beautifully constructed that we would like to have a close look at it. But even at the gynecologist many women feel uncomfortable when they have to show off their intimate zone. Of course you don't have to cover your eyes in front of her vagina, but please don't stare and dig like a spelunker either. With hands and lips you can also explore super. And if you do want to get to know her intimate zone better, ask permission first.
Turn-off in bed #5: He attacks the clitoris
Clit, clit, clit – that's what many men seem to think when they set about pampering their sweetheart's private parts. They forget that the clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch. If you pick up too quickly, she literally gets scared. If your partner is not wet enough, friction can even cause her pain. Don't focus on a single spot, but include all areas of the vulva and vagina in foreplay.
Lust killer #6: He gets distracted
Women often find it difficult to let go during sex anyway. If she also has the impression that her sex partner is not in the mood or that something is not right in the situation, the chances of her desire going down the drain are twice as high. Meaning: The only thing worse than a ringing phone is when you answer it. You should always give her full attention during sex. Television and cell phone are switched off beforehand – of course.
Sex offense #7: He scares her with dirty talk
There's nothing wrong with dirty language during sex – as long as your partner is used to it. But you better not come to her unexpectedly during the love game with new names or sayings. You might well irritate her with this or even make her angry. Prepare her by talking in her usual dirty talk and then saying, for example, "Hey, I have a new idea. Do you want to hear her?"This way you invite her to play with you, instead of pushing her over the edge.
Sex turn-off #8: He doesn't lift a finger
Of course, it's your right to sit back and enjoy yourself as well. But that doesn't mean you should lie there like a mannequin. After all, she's not doing you a labor of love here, she's having sex with you. When your sweetheart is giving you oral pleasure or she's riding you, you have both hands free. Caress her, touch her breasts, butt and hips – this will make her feel more connected to you and have more fun pleasuring you.
Sex offense #9: He is silent like a dead fish
Feedback is an important issue for women – even during sex. Just as you should never lose contact with her with your hands, it is also significant that you give feedback with words or sounds. Sure, not many men moan like the world champions, but even a soft sigh or murmur shows her that she is on the right track.
Lust killer #10: He acts out a porno
In porn it's wild. This has little to do with reality. So it's better not to try to play the most impossible positions first. Your partner will immediately sense that you're making a fake effort and won't roll her eyes because she's having a particularly good orgasm.
Sex offense #11: He puts on the long-playing record
I can last the longest! Even if you were the most potent of all men, you don't have to prove it to your partner. Talk of sexual stamina leads many men to see sex as a competition. However, a sex marathon won't make your partner more satisfied, it will rather make her write to-do lists in her mind or plan tomorrow's outfit. Imagine being massaged in the same place for 45 minutes, not a nice idea, is it? This is how many women feel about too long a lovemaking session. How you realize that you've been at it too long already? When the beloved no longer makes a sound and is only half-hearted in the matter.
Turnoff #12: He forgets about the afterplay
We're going to assume that you don't want to overwhelm women with questions like "How was I?" come and immediately light the cigarette afterwards or get a coffee in bed (if you do it together, however, it can become a familiar love ritual). But there are men who go right back to the day's activities after sex: They check mails, watch soccer scores or jump into the shower right away. Slowly! You won't break one if you lie there for a few more minutes, reflecting on the situation and reassuring yourself that your loved one is happy and content.
Sure, unwashed facts and socks on the feet are real turn-offs in bed. However, now you know which men's habits still spoil women's desire. Have you recognized a few situations? Do nothing. With our tips you are guaranteed to become a better lover from now on.
- 1 Sex offense #1: He immediately reaches into the intimate area
- 2 Sex turn-off #2: He commands like a bootcamp instructor
- 3 Sex mistake #3: He keeps touching no-go areas
- 4 Sex offense #4: He inspects her vagina
- 5 Turn-off in bed #5: He attacks the clitoris
- 6 Lust killer #6: He gets distracted
- 7 Sex offense #7: He scares her with dirty talk
- 8 Sex turn-off #8: He doesn't lift a finger
- 9 Sex offense #9: He is silent like a dead fish
- 10 Lust killer #10: He acts out a porno
- 11 Sex offense #11: He puts on the long-playing record
- 12 Turnoff #12: He forgets about the afterplay