Desire for sex can be quite an awesome feeling: intoxicating, gratifying and unbridled. If you and your partner feel it at the same time, it will probably – quite inevitably – lead to an intense lovemaking.
But lust is always the initial spark for sex? A current study of the singles exchange ElitePartner) with almost 4000 respondents comes to the conclusion: No – it is not always desire for each other that drives couples to rummage through the sheets. There are also reasons that don't sound sexy at first. Here come the real reasons for making love:
Sex reason #1: Sexual arousal
You may be relieved: Lust wins out, of course! After all, 2 thirds of all people go to bed with their partner because they feel like having sex. However, the study does not reveal whether it is specifically lust for the partner or lust in general. By the way, this is how you increase your sex drive.
Sex reason #2: To create closeness
Skin to skin, intimate kisses, whispered expressions of love – a couple can hardly be physically closer than during sex. And also emotionally strengthens the love game the relationship. The younger the respondent in the study, the more often the desire for emotional closeness is the reason for sex. Among 19- to 29-year-olds, 67 percent of all respondents gave this reason. Among 60- to 69-year-olds, it was only 50 percent. Why this is so? Perhaps because couples in their senior years can spend quite a bit of time together anyway and have therefore accumulated a lot of closeness on the relationship account.
Sex reason #3: To do him/her a favor
She feels like it, you don't. Perhaps you have also been seduced into sex in a situation like this before. Love is often about making the other person happy. If you believe the study, this is especially true for men. For 52 percent of all gentlemen surveyed stated that they have sex more often to do something good for their partner. Women seem to be less generous in this regard; in the study, only 46 percent of all women surveyed said they wanted to do their partner a favor by having sex.
Sex reason #4: To feel desired
Who does not like to feel hot, desired and loved? According to the study results, this is exactly one reason why some people have sex. And especially women seem to want to polish up their self-confidence this way. 34 percent of all women surveyed said they often have sex to feel loved, but only 25 percent of all men. These are the muscles women find most sexy on men.
Sex reason #5: To celebrate a special moment
Sex as a birthday present? 30 percent of all people surveyed have sex to celebrate a special moment. A championship won, a new job or an anniversary – there's celebratory sex to mark the occasion. Why not?
Sex reason #6: When the kids are not around
Lust or not – sometimes you just have to be pragmatic. Especially couples with children take advantage of seemingly favorable opportunities for lovemaking. 23 percent of all those surveyed in the study said they use the storm-free room to get closer to each other for a change.
Sex reason #7: To relieve stress
Some go to the bathtub, others to a massage and others have sex. Making love is a good way to relieve stress for 20 percent of all people surveyed. And that's not a bad idea: researchers at the University of Paisley in Scotland proved in a study, That having sex with your partner protects you from stress. The reason for this is the hormones released during lovemaking: endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine increase well-being.
Sex reason #8: To reconcile
Good old make-up sex is not an old wives' tale. As many as 20 percent of all respondents said they use lovemaking to smooth the waters after an argument. The other 80 percent seem to let off steam elsewhere after an argument. And that's probably the better option before sex, so that the lovemaking session doesn't become instrumentalized and the bed doesn't become a battlefield.
Sex reason #9: To satisfy appetite from somewhere else
About 10 percent of all respondents in the study said they have sex with their partner after they've worked up an appetite elsewhere. Here, however, men and women differ significantly. 15 percent of all men in relationships admitted to indulging the excitement they got elsewhere in their home bed. But only 7 percent of all women.
Sex reason #10: To have children
It doesn't have to be unromantic, but unfortunately it often is. Especially when there is a lot of pressure behind the desire to have children. Then the fun of sex in the relationship can suffer quite a bit. 10 percent of all couples surveyed said that they have sex only to produce offspring. Fortunately, this condition is usually only temporary. And some manage not to lose the joy of sex despite the procreation mania.
Conclusion: There are many (good) reasons for having sex
Whether you do it out of pure passion, to make up or to celebrate the day. What ultimately triggers the lovemaking can't really matter to you – as long as pleasure follows. Because then sex is fun, creates closeness and is even healthy. Don't be stressed if you have your own reasons for doing it fast or slow, or if you can't find a good reason to do it for a while – that's perfectly normal and will change again! Inspiration wanted? How to freshen up your sex life.
- 1 Sex reason #1: Sexual arousal
- 2 Sex reason #2: To create closeness
- 3 Sex reason #3: To do him/her a favor
- 4 Sex reason #4: To feel desired
- 5 Sex reason #5: To celebrate a special moment
- 6 Sex reason #6: When the kids are not around
- 7 Sex reason #7: To relieve stress
- 8 Sex reason #8: To reconcile
- 9 Sex reason #9: To satisfy appetite from somewhere else
- 10 Sex reason #10: To have children
- 11 Conclusion: There are many (good) reasons for having sex