2008 Woodie Awards
God suit illustrates frivolousness
Robert Berra
Staff Writer
Issue date: 9/24/07 Section: Opinion
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In Nebraska, state senator Ernie Chambers is suing God. Why? Because he thinks God is a terrorist.
The lawsuit accuses God "of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of the Plaintiff (Chambers) who the Plaintiff has the duty to represent." It says God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like."
The suit also says God has caused "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."
What jurisdiction could Nebraska have over the Almighty? Chambers says that since God is omniscient, he can be tried anywhere. What about a jury of peers? Chambers wants a summary judgment, meaning there is no jury.
Chambers also said that, as an alternative to summary judgment, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.
So far, there has been no word on how Nebraska would enforce such an injunction if it were to be filed. The good news is that Nebraska does not have to enforce it for a few reasons.
First of all, on the theological side, God is no longer in the business of natural disasters (regardless of what Pat Robertson says). Nature and humans have that angle covered exceedingly well. Secondly, the lawsuit is not serious; it is meant to prove a point. This should be obvious from the literary license that was taken with the wording of the suit.
Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of lawsuits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.
The lawsuit accuses God "of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of the Plaintiff (Chambers) who the Plaintiff has the duty to represent." It says God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like."
The suit also says God has caused "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."
What jurisdiction could Nebraska have over the Almighty? Chambers says that since God is omniscient, he can be tried anywhere. What about a jury of peers? Chambers wants a summary judgment, meaning there is no jury.
Chambers also said that, as an alternative to summary judgment, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.
So far, there has been no word on how Nebraska would enforce such an injunction if it were to be filed. The good news is that Nebraska does not have to enforce it for a few reasons.
First of all, on the theological side, God is no longer in the business of natural disasters (regardless of what Pat Robertson says). Nature and humans have that angle covered exceedingly well. Secondly, the lawsuit is not serious; it is meant to prove a point. This should be obvious from the literary license that was taken with the wording of the suit.
Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of lawsuits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.
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