2008 Woodie Awards
Beware of committing thought crimes at DMV
Patrick Senn
Contributing Writer
Issue date: 3/5/07 Section: Opinion
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No one enjoys a trip to the DMV, absolutely no one. The lines are terrible, there is always some sort of paperwork to be done and there seems to be a stench radiating through the place. That being said, it is often a good idea to bring a friend along for some conversation and amusement during the long wait that is almost unbearable.
So, I'm sitting in the DMV waiting on my friend's number to get called. We were making polite conversation over a pamphlet he had picked up that discussed the many employment opportunities with the state trooper office, not realizing one of our distinguished public servants was listening to my every word.
In the pamphlet there was this quote, "One of the most rewarding parts of the job is putting criminals behind bars."
I posed in my mind the question of who would be a criminal? Our criminal code in the United States is so lengthy that almost anyone could be a criminal, and then I did it -- I became a criminal myself.
I simply commented, "So the most rewarding part of the job is f***ing over regular people like you and me." My friend found the statement funny; the state trooper who was eavesdropping on our conversation, however, had a different view.
I almost immediately heard a voice asking me to please step back into this public servant's office. It was explained to me that the last person "to drop the F bomb" in HIS lobby (I took offense to this as well, my tax dollars help pay the rent on that place too!) had gotten an all-expenses-paid trip to a cell in downtown Mobile for the evening.
I must admit I was a bit nervous, as I always am when being threatened with jail, but I decided in my mind that if I was going to be locked up, I might as well make my point clearer to this particular hardworking public servant, who apparently was having a slow day, if he had this much time to devote to debate with a college student.
I simply informed him that by happily taking me to jail for a few hours - which is not a pleasant experience no matter how long you are there - and possibly, although unlikely, giving me a criminal record simply for stating my opinion, this certain public servant was proving my point for me.
So, I'm sitting in the DMV waiting on my friend's number to get called. We were making polite conversation over a pamphlet he had picked up that discussed the many employment opportunities with the state trooper office, not realizing one of our distinguished public servants was listening to my every word.
In the pamphlet there was this quote, "One of the most rewarding parts of the job is putting criminals behind bars."
I posed in my mind the question of who would be a criminal? Our criminal code in the United States is so lengthy that almost anyone could be a criminal, and then I did it -- I became a criminal myself.
I simply commented, "So the most rewarding part of the job is f***ing over regular people like you and me." My friend found the statement funny; the state trooper who was eavesdropping on our conversation, however, had a different view.
I almost immediately heard a voice asking me to please step back into this public servant's office. It was explained to me that the last person "to drop the F bomb" in HIS lobby (I took offense to this as well, my tax dollars help pay the rent on that place too!) had gotten an all-expenses-paid trip to a cell in downtown Mobile for the evening.
I must admit I was a bit nervous, as I always am when being threatened with jail, but I decided in my mind that if I was going to be locked up, I might as well make my point clearer to this particular hardworking public servant, who apparently was having a slow day, if he had this much time to devote to debate with a college student.
I simply informed him that by happily taking me to jail for a few hours - which is not a pleasant experience no matter how long you are there - and possibly, although unlikely, giving me a criminal record simply for stating my opinion, this certain public servant was proving my point for me.
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