How To Get Rid of a Bad Roommate: 20 Fail-Proof Strategies

Throughout your college career, the chances you'll have a roommate at some point are great. And the chances this roommate will be someone you absolutely adore are pretty small.

If you find yourself faced with a less-than-desirable cohabitation partner, there's no need to have that awkward, “It's just not working out. It's not you, it's me,” conversation. Simply follow these easy steps, and your bad roommate will be looking for a new room on Craigslist in no time.

1. Take up a new instrument, such as the clarinet. Play it badly. Practice at 3 a.m.

2. Take a new interest in cooking only Indian food. Use extra curry.

3. Get a new puppy, and don't housetrain it.

4. Become a nudist. Make no apologies for your constant lack of clothing.

5. Become a "High School Musical" fanatic. Play the movies repeatedly, and sing the songs loudly every time the roommate is home.

6. Invite your mother to come stay for a week. Let her trip extend to a month.

7. Announce that your room is haunted, and you will be sleeping in the living room. Every night.

8. Never wash a single dish.

9. Flirt shamelessly with your roommate's significant other. In front of your roommate.

10. Watch your roommate sleeping. Let them wake up to find you standing over their bed, watching them.

11. Announce that you have H1N1.

12. If you have too much to drink and throw up, or you have severe stomach problems that result in frequent trips to the toilet, use their bathroom. Don't clean up.

13. Only buy tofu and soy milk, but eat their cookies and chips out of the cabinet.

14. Let your significant other move in “just until they find a place of their own.” Let that stay be for at least three months.

15. Buy an empty aquarium, and when your roommate gets home, tell them you bought a pet snake today, and it's loose in the apartment.

16. Date their mother/father.

17. Never take a shower. Ever.

18. If they are allergic to cats, get one. If they have a cat, shave it to look a lion.

19. While holding a box full of wires and duct tape, ask them if they know how to make a really good bomb.

20. Let them overhear a phone conversation with your best friend, where you are describing all the cruel and unusual punishments you are going to inflict on them when they go to sleep.

If you follow a few of these guidelines, you will, in turn, become the bad roommate, and your roommate will have no choice other than to move out.

You could always just tell them you're unhappy, but what's the fun in that?