'Twilight' is Melting Your Brain

I could probably fill an entire book with reasons why "Twilight" is a horrible movie, but I am not going to waste time writing about the poorly written dialogue, the scoff-worthy cinematography, the cheesy special effects, or the beyond pathetic acting. Discussing these things would be like saying, "Murder is bad!" because any person with a fully functional brain would be able to figure this out. Instead, I am much more intrigued by the disturbing trends that this lousy excuse for cinema has brought to light in our culture. The bottom line is that only two words can be used to accurately describe "Twilight": female porn.

That's right, ladies, I said it. Female porn. Now before you start accusing me of being a jealous werewolf who merely has the cruel intentions of destroying your favorite heartthrob vampire, hear me out for a second. Obviously, the first thing jumping into your mind is "How can 'Twilight' be called pornographic when there is not a single nude scene or even a sex scene?" This is true, but when I say "female porn" what I mean is that this movie has the same effect and consequences on the female mind that porn has on the male mind.

When a man watches pornography, his mind is warped over time because he forgets that what he is watching is not a depiction of reality. He begins to expect all women to have perfect bodies, to be absolutely sex crazed at all times, and to be constantly begging to provide him oral pleasure, literally, at the click of a button. Once said man begins to have a real relationship with a real woman, he is severely disappointed. He soon discovers that the female sex drive is not only considerably less active than his, but it also works much differently.

In fact, at least once a month, the woman acts completely crazy, and, instead of sitting around naked all day wanting nothing more than to satisfy her man the way the women on his computer screen do, she is moody, angry, and probably would much rather be left alone. Next, he realizes that real female bodies look completely different when they have not had numerous surgeries to make their breasts "perfect", hide all stretch marks, and remove excess fat.

As you can see, this presents considerable problems for the relationship as the man treats the woman badly because he does not respect her and fails to realize that she does not exist for the sole purpose of physical pleasure. But before all you female readers begin proclaiming this man a "jerk" or "douche bag", ponder the similar effect that overly romanticized entertainment, such as "Twilight," has on the female mind. It is rather easy for a woman to point fingers at a man for being guilty of watching pornography because she is not as susceptible to fall victim to something that intends to stimulate the sex drive visually. Instead, women are sexually stimulated romantically, a fact that tends to fly under the radar. So when women are getting together with their girlfriends to swoon over Edward Cullen, they are partaking in nothing more than "romantic masturbation".

In the same way that the porn-watching male has unrealistic expectations out of women physically, films and books like "Twilight" cause females to have unrealistic expectations from men romantically.Possibly the worst part about all of this is that, while pornography is something that is typically frowned upon and discouraged, especially toward a younger audience, the damaging effects of "Twilight" are promoted primarily to younger girls whose minds are the most moldable.

Can you imagine the dangers of a society that showed pornographic flicks in movie theaters allowing, even encouraging, young boys to watch these films and collect posters immortalizing the stars of the films? I'm sure that all women would be outraged by such a scandal that merely exploited a weakness in the male mind just to make money (sound oddly familiar?).

I would like to make it clear though that I am in no way trying to argue that men should be allowed to watch porn because women do. In fact, what I hope is that both sides would realize the problems that these things are creating in our attitudes towards relationships and begin protecting their minds from these poisons. Pornographic material preys on our selfishness. The ultimate disease is one of expecting our future relationship partners to cater to that selfishness; it makes us believe that our partners should provide us what we want, when we want.